Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize