wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
