real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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