A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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