So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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