Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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