Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
