i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize