when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
