Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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