Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
