just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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