yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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