Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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