nut hugger
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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