I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
