It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize