i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
