I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
