I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
