My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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