That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
