I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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