i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
