Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
