Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
