i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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