Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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