in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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