great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize