ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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