I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
