I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
