suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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