Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
