You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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