love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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