I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
