Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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