She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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