You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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