I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
