The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize