you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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