he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
