Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
