Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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