so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
