My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize