i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
