He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
birth control should be required to get into college
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
