There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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