seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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