I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
