hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
