i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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