i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
